my friends call me cat. you may call me catzilla. (catzilla) wrote,
my friends call me cat. you may call me catzilla.
catzilla

And What?

I'm thinking about reviving catzilla. I've been looking at past entries, and I think I was thinking about things more critically in a good way when I was using this journal. And I miss the random trolls telling me that my kafiyeh was covered in the blood of jewish babies. *Sigh* Those were the days. I don't know, but lately I've just felt that my constructingme journal is just.... weird and whiny and not really taking advantage of the fact that this is, you know, a public forum. Plus, the name I picked is totally not where I am now- if I'd had the characters/space, it would have been "deconstructingme"- gah.

Again and again I remember a wise old man (incinerator) advising against getting specific political tattoos, since politics change. Man, I'd feel really stupid now if I'd gone ahead and gotten a giant anarchist tattoo somewhere, and I'd probably feel the same about a commie tattoo, too. That's not to say that I'm not still completely anti-communist, but you know, the nuances of that change. For all I think that anarchist models are disorganized, prone to weird personality politics, I felt a little more politically creative as an anarchist... maybe creative is a bad word, but I was in the process of challenging things and considering and developing actively when I was thinking of myself as an anarchist. Now I'm a socialist, in the ISO, really down with the politics but not liking the intellectual dynamic. But I'm also trying to graduate now, working two jobs, trying to make time move more quickly so I can get the hell out of the city, and feeling a general disinterest in active engagement.

I think I just need to get through it though, and then start being conscious again about who I am and what I need to do. Taking a hiatus from politics isn't the end of the world, and it's not like my being focused on other things for a few months is going to prevent the revolution from EVER happening. Seriously.
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